requirements of being my friend/significant other: you will always have to remember where i set my keys. always.

So I might lose my job.
And have no one but myself to blame.

Have no clue where I’m living starting July.

Have yet to hear back from jobs applied to.

And have to completely clean my apartment in just a few hours this evening.

OR
I could just feign death and go into hiding forever and ever.

i tuck my feet into my blanket ((monsters)) even though i sleep in a futon mattress on the floor because old habits die hard

Doctor, doctor.
I need some medicine for my heart. Something that pretty little pills and colourful elixers will never deliver.

Someone come cuddle and put up with my icky sickness. We will watch Disney movies and eat frozen yoghurt.

this thing i’m trying to work on or something

ten points to gryffindor if you can guess who inspired it

Completely alone for the first time in ages.

Fuck.

There are two people that I would totally be willing to have a threesome with, no second thoughts.

I just wanna have some good ole intense, angry, passionate, no strings attached, rock your world sex. Is that too much to ask?

Well that was the easiest breakup in the history of ever.