If you had to teach something, what would you teach?
In all honesty, I’ve wanted to teach art for quite some time. I’ve always believed that anyone of any age needs some sort of (creative) outlet for their emotions. It angers me, though, that so many areas and school are cutting funding for the creative classes such as art, band, drama, language, et cetera. Not every kid can make it onto a sports team. Not every kid wants to lift weights. In my personal experience, it was in the art room that I found my acceptance and myself. I guess I would want to be able to give that experience and that acceptance to someone else. Paying it forward, so to speak.
Which activities make you lose track of time?
Hmm… above all else, I think that art makes me lose track of time. That and reading or spending time with Sherlock. The hours just seem to fly by. In a great, way, though. I mean,w e do a lot of things and I am productive when we’re together but it never seems arduous or straining. (Anything involving Mary Jane, also, but that’s a given.)
If you had a friend who spoke to you in the same way that you sometimes speak to yourself, how long would you allow this person to be your friend?
Hm. Honestly, probably not very long. While I have learned to be a lot more gentle with myself and my self critique, I do tend to… eh… put myself down. Not always, but when it gets severe there’s not much good that bounces around in my mind. I would, actually, never be the same around someone if they spoke to me like that. I would probably go as far as to never speak with them again.
I know, this should be a wake up call. I’m working on it.
Thankfully, though, I care more about others happiness than my own so I would never speak to my friends or family this way. At least, not intentionally. I tend to have a deep and dark sarcastic nerve that runs through the very core of my being which can sometimes be misinterpreted BUT I am working on that, too.
Is it possible to lie without saying a word?
Well, the way I look at it, yes. While you are limited to not “saying” anything — if in that applies to only speech/the spoken word — one could still use body language and movement to tell a lie. I.E.; shaking and nodding the head, shrugging shoulders, smiling, et cetera. Lots of things can be used in deception, not just a voice (though that is the easiest to manipulate.)
What does your joy look like today?
I swear, these questions keep getting more and more interesting.
Today, my joy looks like the sun-kissed specks of dust floating in front of my windowsill, caught in rays of hope. My kittens slumbering soundly in their shared, cushioned bed of artificial clouds and little kitty dreams. My joy looks like the deep, brilliant blue pooling labyrinth that are burned into my mind waiting waiting waiting until we can meet again. The airwaves floating through my mind and in my atmosphere.
Looks like it’s going to be a pretty swell day.
Have you done anything lately worth remembering?
Well, I suppose so. I mean, I haven’t done anything outrageous like hiked the Appalachia or gone deep sea scuba diving but who’s to say that those are the only things that are worth remembering? I’ve become closer to my friends and shared lots of memories with them (that are more than worth remembering).
I am making an effort to get signed back up for school.
I’ve signed petitions and wrote letters and raised awareness about SOPA/PIPA.
I’ve done some pretty cool artwork, and I’m trying to write and draw in sketchbooks every day now.
I’ve been leveling up xhardxcorex in Skylanders. Not a big achievement but that being said, I’m actually putting time and effort into video games.
I, uh, have [been letting] my guard down. Which is a positive. So, yeah, all in all I’ve done quite a lot worth remembering. I don’t typically do things half-assed so they usually stick out pretty well in my mind. Shrug.
If not now, then when?
When I’m dead?
Haha, just kidding. Sort of.
This is a hard question because I have this really bad habit of putting things off. Important things. Big changes. Adventures. Et cetera.
For example, I’ve been putting off a trip to California for the past… oh, I don’t know… five years? Yeah. But! Hopefully I’m going to make it happen by spring-break-ish-time. I was going to go this summer but it looks like I’ll be taking some summer classes at the community college. Hmph.
But, right! Back on track.
If not now, then at the next possible moment.
I’m trying to take more chances, more risks, try more things without having too much fear. You know, the whole not-wanting-to-miss-out-on-opportunities thing.
Other than that, when it comes to sleep?
Yeah, I’ll sleep when I’m dead. <3
What is the difference between living and existing?
To me, existing is just that. Taking up space and air and not doing anything. Going through your day-to-day mundane activities without any care in the world. Not trying to make things better, hell — not even making things worse. Just, being.
No goals, no dreams, no reason to make you happy or sad or angry. Just. There.
Living, of course, is the exact opposite of that. Feeling liek you have a purpose or seeking out what that purpose may be. Making goals for yourself, for others around you, attempting to reach your dreams. Trying to be a better person. Trying to understand things and educate yourself. DOING. Being proactive. Impacting.
Do you celebrate the things you do have?
I try to. I try to be thankful for everything I have, but it doesn’t always work out that way. I forget. I take things, and people, for granted. Not as much as I used to, however. (In case you haven’t noticed through these, I’m always trying to better myself. Always trying to make up for my past mistakes.)
For example, before I moved back in with my parents in June, we hardly talked. I didn’t tell them I loved them, I didn’t hug them, didn’t let them into my life. Now, I don’t know where or what I would be without them. Every day I thank them for everything they do. Not just because I can, or feel that I have to. It’s because I want to. Same goes for my friends, my cats, and anyone/anything else I can physically show and/or verbally tell.
As for my materialistic things, such as my art supplies, I try to appreciate them by taking good care of them. Keeping my room clean, my car taken care of, et cetera.
I am, by no means, perfect. Nor am I trying to achieve perfection. I’m just trying to be a fraction of the good I want to see in the world.
What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?
Absolutely nothing. I really don’t care what people think of me, only what I think of myself. Granted, that sounds conceited and egotistical, but it’s true and I will explain. Before I do or say anything I ask myself, would I be proud of this? Does this coincide with my moral and values? Would I want someone to do this?
I try to live to be a good person but I also try to not deny myself things that I want, need, aspire to. That being said, I have missed out on opportunities and adventures because of my own fears and lack of confidence but it’s something I’m working on.